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The Awakening

November 20, 2010

The Awakening
Copyright © 1999 Sonny Carroll
waketolife.com All Rights Reserved.

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst
of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind
tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or
someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t
always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any
guarantee of “happily ever after ” must begin with you. Then a sense of
serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than
holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of
all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime.
And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:

* how you should look and how much you should weigh
­*what you should wear and where you should shop
­*where you should live or what type of car you should drive
­*who you should sleep with and how you should behave
­*who you should marry and why you should stay
*the importance of having children or what you owe your family

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And
you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they
are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with
the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect
human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image
inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for
your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and
admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you
discover that it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and
abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining ” & “accumulating.”

And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things
that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a
full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to
pursue your own dreams.

And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in
self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional
relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and
exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and
creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as
food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make
it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give
in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the
hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his
touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what
they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always
come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you
stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the
things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep
your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing
power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a
friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships
that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard
at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want
or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and
the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that
you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that
sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you
would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or
insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people
grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not
everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop
appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice
their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your
” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and
receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to
control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not
mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with
yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most
fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that
through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you
stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and
friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited
wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop
lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to
leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to
affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths
and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you
think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God… but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only
thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens,
you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must
truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn
to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to
give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life
truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want
and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings
of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to
live as best as you can

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and
frightening hours, I have prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for
material things but for my “God” to help me find the strength, confidence
and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this: “You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God
resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that
spirit and it will heal and empower you.” My “God” has never failed me.

The Awakening is dedicated to my most dear friend Drane Uljaj.

This piece “The Awakening” by Sonny Carroll [waketolife.com], is the
finalized version of a rough draft that’s been copied, cirulated and posted
on countless websites falsely acrediting another writer; Virginia Marie
Swift, as the author. Sonny Carroll contacted Ms. Swift and they have been
working together towards contacting the various website registrars to
correct the attribution of authorship. Unfortunately, the piece has
circulated all over the world, and to date, many copies of “The Awakening”
(also known as “A Time Comes In Your Life”) still appear as being written by
Ms. Swift. Ms. Carroll and Ms. Swift ask that if you should happen to find
“The Awakening” (“A Time Comes In Your Life”) on any websites still
acrediting anyone other than Sonny Carroll as the author, to please
contact alert@waketolife.com with the website address. Thank you.